Hello again. We had a chance to see not one… but TWO!.. of last week’s new film releases. Many of you know this already and it’s certainly no surprise, but Machete is 105 minutes of pure awesome! Season of the Witch… oh boy… well, we’ll have a review for you soon. (Hint: The Rotten Tomatoes rating is in the single digits)
In fact, we have many reviews in-progress and coming soon. You can expect more thoughts on Mutants, Devil and more. As for this post, what’s new this week? Some creature features and some campy fun.
Theater Releases, January 14th
The film explores satires of Angeleno stereotypes, which are told through five interlacing stories. The five intertwining segments are based on popular stereotypes of West Hollywood, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Westwood and Holmby Hills. Each of the characters in the film confront taboos and an uncertain, often darkly humorous, fate. Producer Oren Segal likens the film to “a John Waters version of Short Cuts,” a 1993 drama film directed by Robert Altman.
This film just popped up on my radar recently and is supposedly having a limited release in theaters on Friday. (Can’t find any info on where it’s playing and when though) Although Burning Palms doesn’t look like it fits into the genre at all, horror journalists recommend giving it a watch. It’s a dark comedy that promises to “fuck you up for life” and the teaser trailer features nothing but people complaining about how disturbing it is. I’m skeptical, but I’ll keep my eye on reviews.
DVD Releases, January 11th
The Chainsaw Sally Show, Season 1
It was hard to find the right video for this one. I opted for the show’s opening credits. Some blood splatter.
From Hershall Gordan Lewis, the Godfather of Gore, comes Chainsaw Sally! Watch as buxom, bloody, and busty Sally act as Judge, Jury and executioner on the scum infecting her small town.
This lady is news to me, but April Monique Burril has apparently been portraying this Chainsaw Sally character for about ten years. If I understand correctly, an original Chainsaw Sally film, produced by Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, The Gore Gore Girls, Two Thousand Maniacs!) and featuring Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface of Texas Chainsaw Massacre), spawned this original series. The first season comes to us tomorrow from Troma Home Video. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favorite films and I appreciate a woman wanting to honor it and get some laughs, but I’m not a fan of what I see here. I know lots of folks dig Troma, but it’s not for me.
A college party is the stage for bloodshed and murder on HALLOWEEN NIGHT as a mistreated student exacts his revenge on those who wronged him. Using the effigy of a living scarecrow, his Frankenstein-like creation carries out his heinous plans. One female student, Trix, is the only thing that stands between him and the bloodiest massacre to ever take place on the night of All Hallow’s Eve!
Love the stop-motion. Ok, so this film was made by a Polonia! Mark of the “infamous” Polonia Brothers. (Nightcrawlers, Hellspawn, Splatter Farm) Sadly, the other brother, John, passed away a few years ago. If you’ve never seen their films, you are missing out on a whole world of bad cinema. Although we’re often quick to label the latest failure the worst movie ever, I challenge you to find something worse than a Polonia production. And I say that with love.
From director Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes) comes the new action thriller PIRANHA. Every year the population of sleepy Lake Victoria explodes from 5,000 to 50,000 for Spring Break, a riot of sun and drunken fun. But this year, there’s something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints from local old timers; a new type of terror is about to be cut loose on Lake Victoria. After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents. The films stars Jessica Szohr (Gossip Girl), Steven R. McQueen (The Vampire Diaries), Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, and Kelly Brook.
As I mentioned before, this remake of Joe Dante’s original Jaws rip-off is a masterpiece of gore. These are the most fun and well-executed bloodbaths I’ve seen in a very long time! Glorious carnage and a campy throwback to 80’s horror…the good old days, to some, of “boobs and blood.” I gave them the benefit of the doubt going in, but this was definitely made for straight guys. The amount of boobs and softcore in this flick is ridiculous. And all we get is one gross severed wanger.* Not. Fair. Instead of arguing against objectification, we want equal objectification! More sexy material for those of us attracted to men and less complaining from you gents when we DO get it. The female horror fans have needs too.
If you’re not a fan of gore or won’t have patience with obnoxious frat-boy sensibilities, this isn’t for you. Despite breast overload, I look forward to watching this again. It’s funny, it has excellent cameos (Especially Dreyfuss in a tiny boat) and it’s a gorehound’s dream.
*That part is hilarious though. And it’s in 3D!
There’s Nothing Out There
See the original film that inspired SCREAM! 3 hot body teens look to get away for the weekend at a vacation house on the lake. Little do they know that There’s Something Out There! An creature that wants to eat the men and mate with the women.
A genre-referential slasher parody from 1990 by Rolfe Kanefsky. (Nightmare Man, Dead Scared) Although it’s possible this film had some influence on Craven’s work, Student Bodies beat them to this idea in 1981. Even so, There’s Nothing Out There has had a more positive reception. A 20th Anniversary edition DVD with lots of special features comes tomorrow from Troma.
My Pick this Week?
Definitely Piranha. A stupid good time. If the description above turns you off, I’m not sure about the rest of those options. Go re-watch Jaws instead.
Well, that’s all for now, friends. Look out for our review of Season of the Witch today or tomorrow and more.