If you’re a fan of laughing at bad cinema, the lack of quality releases this week is easily forgiven. With the exception of an 80’s slasher coming to DVD for the first time, this is the week of cheesy giant monster movies! I don’t even know where to begin with choosing a recommendation. They’re all pretty silly. But since I have to pick something…
I’ve seen Chawz and it may be the strongest film on offer today, but I am not a fan. Consider that if you like, but I want a piece of that DinoShark!
My Recommendation this week:
Some blood and light gore
It was frozen in glacial ice over 150 million years ago. Global warming has just hatched it in the Arctic. And now, it has traveled to Puerto Vallarta for a massive Mexican buffet of sailors, swimmers, lifeguards, jet skiers, horny tourists, bikini babes and more. It thrives in warm water. Bullets will not pierce its prehistoric armor. And it can leap out of the ocean to devour helicopters and parasailers. Can a rogue fishing boat captain and a sexy science teacher stop this ravenous pliosaur before it takes a monster bite out of the local fiesta and all-girl water polo tournament? Eric Balfour (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 24) and Iva Hasperger star – along with award-winning B-movie producer Roger Corman himself – in the top-rated Syfy sensation about the blood-crazed primeval mutation called Dinoshark!
Jenny Dreadful: Look at that mouth. DinoShark, presented by Roger Corman, comes to us from Kevin O’Neill, also the director of.. let’s fire up IMDB here… Oh! Also the director of DINOCROC.
Although it’s unlikely that this film is actually better than the others, I based my choice on how much I laughed while watching the trailer. It looks terrible, but the scene featured near the end with Eric Balfour … I lost it.
StayFrosty: I recommend Dinoshark. Seriously, just look at it. Clearly, it is amazing. After contemplating just how awesome this will be, then watch the trailer and realize it’s so much funnier than you thought. One particular highlight includes a dinoshark, a jet ski, and a grenade. How much more can you ask for from one movie?
More DVD titles released today:
A young police officer is transferred from Seoul to a small village in the countryside for duty when he jokingly checked the box to be deployed “anywhere.” Arriving at the village, he encounters a bumbling police force who is working with a special detective to resolve some recent murders. As the bodies add up, it becomes clear that the gruesome deaths are attributed to a beast of an animal with a voracious appetite for human flesh. A famous hunter and his team are called in to track and destroy the man-eater. During their tracking expedition, they are confronted by a boar of massive size and strength, which they discover may be a result of experimentation during wartimes. Unprepared and unarmed for taking down the mutant creature, the group must disband as the hunters become the hunted.
Jenny Dreadful: If you’re a giant pig movie completist (Can such a thing exist???), then by all means, check out this Korean monster flick. I was more satisfied with Razorback myself. Or, if Korean creature features are what you’re after, track down The Host.
The Dorm that Dripped Blood (1982)
On the eve of Christmas vacation, a college dormitory stands condemned… the dark halls now vacant and unsafe. Student Joanne Murray and her close friends volunteer to help close down the building, unaware a psychopathic lunatic is hiding in the shadows. As the students disappear one by one, Joanne discovers the horrifying reality that if she is to survive, she alone will have to find a way to slay the brutal murderer. If you think you ve seen this film totally uncut… think again! Synapse Films is proud to present THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD in a never-before-seen alternate version containing additional scenes, extended gore sequences, and a different sound mix. This transfer was created from the only existing 35mm answer print of the original Directors’ Cut entitled DEATH DORM, a version of the film thought to have been lost for over thirty years. Bonus Features include Audio Commentary Featuring Directors Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter; Interviews with Composer Christopher Young and Make-Up FX Creator Matthew Mungle; Original Theatrical Trailers.
Note: An official “Video Nasty,” also known as Pranks.
Mongolian Death worm
When an American oil company sets up an experimental drilling plant out in the vast deserts of Mongolia, they are completely oblivious to what actually lies beneath them. Pumping hot water deep into the ground, the company is hoping to expose untapped oil, but what they end up uncovering is something no one ever expected. As the superheated water plummets its way into the earth, it strikes a nest of deadly creatures that have been dormant for centuries. Thought to be purely mythological, these monsters are in fact real…and now they have been awakened! They are angry and they are bloodthirsty. They are known as the Mongolian Death Worms.
That’s it for now! Happy giant monster hunting, friends. And don’t forget to stay tuned. Reviews of Hobo with a Shotgun, Troll Hunter and The Ward coming soon.