In Theaters Today: September 2, 2011

Posted: September 2, 2011 by Jenny Dreadful in Film, News

Two horror movies in one weekend? As bad as they might be, I love it. Autumn is coming and horror cinema is slowly building toward its annual peak. How exciting.  (Yes, there’s a third movie too. I’m ignoring it. I have my reasons.)

Apollo 18

Officially, Apollo 17, launched December 17th, 1972 was the last manned mission to the moon. But a year later, in December of 1973, two American astronauts were sent on a secret mission to the moon funded by the US Department of Defense. What you are about to see is the actual footage which the astronauts captured on that mission. While NASA denies its authenticity, others say it’s the real reason we’ve never gone back to the moon.

Space horror very well may be our crew’s favorite sub-genre. Alien(s), Event Horizon, Sunshine… we adore this stuff. Unfortunately, good space horror is rare. Hell, the budget needed to effectively handle the sets and props needed for this subject-matter limits the number of films made overall. Are the cinema verite format and a small cast of two effective ways to overcome these obstacles? Will Apollo 18 scratch that itch?

Reviews are just starting to trickle in this morning leading me to believe that press screenings were few to none. From what I can tell this early, the reception isn’t positive either. It’s not looking good here, but my I hope for the best.

Shark Night 3D

Arriving by boat at her family’s Louisiana lake island cabin, Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends quickly strip down to their swimsuits for a weekend of fun in the sun. But when star football player Malik (Sinqua Walls) stumbles from the salt-water lake with his arm torn off, the party mood quickly evaporates. Assuming the injury was caused by a freak wake-boarding accident, the group realizes they have to get Malik to a hospital on the other side of the lake, and fast. But as they set out in a tiny speedboat, the college friends discover the lake has been stocked with hundreds of massive, flesh-eating sharks! As they face one grisly death after another, Sara and the others struggle desperately to fend off the sharks, get help and stay alive long enough to reach the safety of dry land.

Sharks in 3D from David R. Ellis, the director behind Final Destination 2, The Final Destination (Don’t be fooled. #4) and Snakes on a Plane. This is almost guaranteed to be bad, but I do love the idea of a slasher with sharks as the primary murder weapon. Again, it’s unlikely this was screened and I can only find handful of negative reviews posted this morning. Sad horror blogger. I will probably see it anyway. Don’t judge me.

Alright alright, I’ll stop putting it off. We’ve also got a limited theater run and On Demand release for one more movie.

Hellraiser: Revelations

Two friends in Mexico discover the Lament Configuration and unleash Pinhead, but one decides to try to survive by swapping himself with someone else. Once they go missing, family members go in search of them, but find Pinhead instead.

Hellraiser: Revelations is the ninth film in the series. Before we comment further, it’s well-known that this film was slapped together quickly for the sole reason of retaining the rights to the franchise. That is a mark of quality right there. Offending devout Hellraiser fans further, Doug Bradley is NOT playing Pinhead. Don’t waste time ranting about the studio’s insulting snub though. It was Bradley’s choice to walk away. We did our homework recently and viewed the entire series. Hellraiser: Deader (7) and Hellraiser: Hellworld (8) were just terrible. If he turned this down after putting up with those films, he had good reason. Unless legendary suffering is your goal, stay away.

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