Supershark!

Posted: July 11, 2012 by StayFrosty in Film, Reviews

It’s a touching story full of deep meaning, an intense love triangle and metaphors on the brevity of human life…oh wait, I must have been thinking of something else.  This is SUPERSHARK!

Since movies like Birdemic and anything by The Asylum has risen in popularity, it seems like many companies are jumping on the so bad it’s (hopefully) good bandwagon.  And while Supershark doesn’t quite make it to the spic standards of a Birdemic quality movie, it still sort of works.  Side note – I can’t believe I just put the words “Birdemic” and”quality” in the same sentence.

It’s all well and good until an offshore drilling team accidentally breaks through some prehistoric ice and releases a gigantic monster shark.  But this isn’t just any old monster shark – this supershark can fly AND it can walk on land using its front fins to propel it along!  Read this sentence again.  Fly and walk on land.  This movie should be amazing.  Of course, the shark was let loose by an evil oil company using evil chemicals, fronted by its evil leader Wade (former Duke of Hazzard John Schneider, wishing he had a mustache to twirl…no, really) and must be stopped by a disgraced marine biologist Kat Carmichael (Sarah Lieving) with the help of boat captain Skipper Chuck (Tim Abell), looking like a cheap Michael Madsen knockoff.  Because you CAN”T CLOSE THE BEACHES!  Somewhere in this is DJ Dynomite Stevens (former Good Times actor Jimmie Walker), who doesn’t serve any point that I can see other than to make loud, strange commentary on an indoor bikini contest and wear a variety of wacky getups.   I won’t give away too many spoilers of what happens (though if you watch the trailer you already know this), but there may or may not be a tank robot vs. shark battle.

Any movie in this vein would do well to adhere to the Corman school of filmmaking, which (to paraphrase) is if you go around 5 minutes without showing the monster, that’s too long.  Supershark tries to keep this in mind, even going so far as to just introduce characters for a minute only to have them eaten up by the shark.  And almost no one is safe, even characters that seem set up to be main characters/final girls.

Whee!!!

There’s not much point in critiquing the acting, the FX or the cinematography, because that’s not what you watch these movies for.  You watch them for shark, shark and more shark.  All shark all the time.  Sharks eating all sorts of crazy stuff.  So that’s what I’ll review.  The shark does eat a bunch, but not as many giant or crazy things as I would have liked.  It’s called Supershark, and it can fly – FLY!  It should be eating spaceships or something.  The walking bit is a little exaggerated – more like limply hopping across the beach moving its two front flippers.  But the idea in general is fun, and there are a few major edifices removed from the beach.  For the most part, the movie operates as you would expect, and there’s a fairly good amount of shark.  But then again, I always want to see more shark in movies like this.

Most awkward photo shoot ever.

And there’s a theme song, people.  A theme song.  With a funky bass line.  Seriously.

Look, I’m betting you already know if you’re going to watch this or not.  I knew I would be sitting down with my FGSG cohorts the day it came out, trying to guess how many minutes until the shark appeared (you don’t have to wait long).  Judged against others of its ilk, you could do worse than Supershark.

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